I'm the only one who knows my feelings.

I'm tired of people trying to tell me how I feel. It's happening more often than not lately and it bugs me. During the school year, people kept trying to tell me that I wasn't over Gordon, when I was 100% sure that I had no feelings for him. Now, people are trying to tell me that I'm jealous because Alyse and Andrew have a thing now.

Number 1, I haven't liked Andrew since freshman year of high school, and that was barely a crush. Number 2, it's just odd that one of my best friends and my sister are hooking up. It's a new situation and of course it's going to be weird for me, but I AM NOT JEALOUS.

It just bugs me a lot. I miss my caring guys who just listen and give good feedback, Krasnor for example. I'm going to write him a letter since I've been thinking about him a lot lately. I'm also going to hang with Eric on Monday. He always makes me feel better.

Also, I'm having a phone call with Katie tomorrow. We haven't chatted/caught up on anything in a long time. It's long past due.

This is the end of my rant.

(You don't know how many pics of huge boobs I came upon after Googling "not jealous")

Growing Up

This summer has been full of realizations for me. I've realized that I don't want to live in my parents house forever. Yeah, it would be nice to live here during grad school, not having to pay for rent or food or anything, but also, it's a hassle. This summer I've been going out a lot, staying out till 1 or 2. My parents have work in the morning, and they (mostly my mom) claim that they can't sleep well without me being home. I understand this, but it just doesn't flow with what I'm doing right now.

My mom got all pissed last night and basically gave my sister and me a curfew of midnight on weekdays. This isn't going to work for me, especially next year when I'm in grad school, and freaking 21 years old. I'm not going to fight it, because it's a losing battle since it is my parents house, their rules. What I am going to do is plan, almost secretly, for the near future, after I graduate from Wooster.

I want to work a lot and save money so that I can possibly move into a house with friends after college. Andrew's looking into renting a house with a few of our friends, and if I can hold onto my VS job (plus start working part time), I'd be able to pay rent. This has become a more realistic goal for me because of all of the crap going on this summer with my "not being respectful of my mom's needing to sleep" etc.

It's going to be hard for me to save money because I barely get any hours at VS and at my school job. Also, car insurance eats up a lot of my money. Maybe I'll try to work out a budget, which is hard while living at college. I should probably pay off my AE credit card, and use it less often. I wanted to get a VS credit card, and I will when I'm 21, but for now I should stop spending as much there. I don't spend too too much there anyway.

My babysitting job is getting me good money, but I need to put more and more of it into savings, and not into my checking. Since I get paid a lot, I've been thinking about expensive things I can buy or spend it on. I don't need to be doing that. If I want to accomplish this, I need to keep my head level and just plan my ass off.

Hopefully this can become a reality for me. I'd love to live with the people who are in the potential house (all guys, of course lol), and I think it could really work out, as long as I'm working.

Here goes nothing.

Camping, and Camping Only

This weekend, all of us TNBP buddies went camping at Mosquito Lake. It was SO much fun. So many inside jokes popped up, like "Rippin and tearin, the wild women" and constant reminiscing of the happenings. It was a blast and I absolutely love those people.

I usually write out long lists of what happened, but I'm not really feeling it right now. Hopefully I'll get back here a little later to fill in more info.